tired

Can I just

Can I do anything without having to fight for it? Can one thing in my life not be a fucking struggle? Can't I just... do something productive? Just one easy, simple thing. Please.

I was planning on doing some errands and shit today but now all the energy's just been sucked right out of me. It's not enough for me to just struggle and get shit over with, there always has to be something that has to drag it out, make me wait, make me stress. There always has to be little things that make it impossible to sleep, to eat, to relax.

And you'd think I'd get used to it and become a better fighter because of it, but that's never the way it works. Instead I've become the kind of person who just sits there and never does anything, who procrastinates everything and never puts out effort unless I absolutely need to, because I know that if I do, the second I become enthusiastic or proactive about anything I'll have a million fucking obstacles to overcome.

I just get so tired.

And I can't sleep.

I'm tired all the time.