Sitting in the corner and playing with the toys in family therapy

for once I'm the only one not crying

I'm not part of this conversation, I don't hear anything, it's all hushed and I've got cars to roll around

Before we leave, the therapist sits down with me while the rest of my family leaves the room

He asks me a few questions

I can't remember any of them

Then we go home

My sister doesn't come with us

The therapist told my parents I was fine

jar full of wasps

I called this blog "jar full of wasps" because I liked the image

I hate wasps, they terrify me. trapped in a jar? still terrifying.

we could talk about ferocity versus fragility and feeling trapped and power struggles and who's really more dangerous, the wasp or what put them in the jar but eh

then I saw this quote - something about filling your heart with bees, so if anybody breaks it, they get the bees. It's supposed to be a joke, I thought it was funny, but you know

when something fits

summer

summer was rough, but now it's fall.

I got a job this week, and I moved into my new apartment a few weeks ago. I like where I'm living. I'm not sure about my job, but we'll see how it goes. I'm happy just to have one, and even if I don't like I'm still going to do my best to keep it. I'm more worried about fucking up and losing it than anything.

here's the part where I complain about summer

I spent the whole time looking for an apartment and a job. I spent all day inside. I never had money or time to go anywhere or do anything. All my friends moved away. My family told me about all the fun stuff they were doing without me. And I didn't get anything done. I didn't make anything. I didn't write anything. I didn't even draw anything, save for a bunch of sketches. I didn't read any good books. I saw some movies, alone.

But I did write poetry. I'm going to keep trying to write poetry. Eventually I'd like to write enough to make a zine. I'll add that to the list of projects. 

I've started making comics again, though it's a slow start. I've decided to finally go ahead and finish this one, there's just one more book to do and then I think I'm done. For good. Maybe. For long enough to do something else, at least.

And I've started writing articles again, since I've had a few things to write about. That's about the same it's always been - write them when I have something to write about.

i've met someone. i don't know what they are, but i've met them.

just an update i suppose.